2 cent thoughts (fikra za peni mbili)

Its been a while

2006-12-01T14:50:00.000-08:00

It has been such a hilariously long time since I wrote in this blog. I needed to just write and this is always the best place for that. So much has happened since I was here last, started school, thank God, got a job, moved to Silver Spring and a whole lot of other bla bla bla bla. In short it has all been amazing.

I have met so many new poeple and I feel like i have grown so much these past couple of months. Been through some really interesting highs and lows but really....all is well.

But the best thing so far is my niece. She is the most gorgeous baby ever. Born on 28th July 2006 and she is cute as could be!! Her nickname is Ndururu or Ruru. I know I know...corny but she is named after my small sis and there is no way I was going to call the kiddo 50 cent!!!

So since I was last here, its been a rollercoaster ride. But I think I need this space if only for my peace of mind. I told someone the other day sometime I will not know what to say when I am face to face with someone but writing has always been my release. I can write everything down and it may not make sense to someone else reading it but if it makes sense to me, that's all I need. I missed my writing space!

2006-07-19T06:11:00.000-07:00

After watching CNN for the most part today, I agreed that war has some really devastating effects on peoples lives. During the Rwandan genocide I was about 12 and I remember not really "knowing knowing" what was going on exactly. I distinctly remember not being able to eat fish for a long time because there were dead people in the lake. And I LOVE fish so I was not happy about that. But at that age I was not really aware of the magnitude of the genocide. Living in America now I wonder if people here are as isolated and living in a bubble as I was way back then. I wonder if Americans realize there is more to the news than just their hometown news, entertainment and America. Granted, Americans are very philanthropic and I do not really care if it is powered by guilt or a genuine feeling just as long as they are giving because many people need what they can give.
Watching Americans complain about the delay in their government's response at evacuation, I could not help wondering if nationals from developing countries were going to get evacuated. Cos I bet there is a Kenyan and a Nigerian there somewhere stuck and knowing they are not getting evacuated by their govas. Life is harsh sometimes. So be grateful if you come from a peaceful country. That's a priviledge.

2006-07-17T19:07:00.000-07:00

OK redykulass was not all that. I watched half their dvd, though. But am sure I paid for them to act not play their dvd. Enough of that. This is just not a good day. SO I hope someone is having a better time at this than I am. Too much stress. Need a job. Am going to camp at one of the recruiting agencies tomorrow since it seems phone calls don't work so good. Wish me luck.

Furahiday!!

2006-07-14T23:53:00.000-07:00

So Friday my pal and I decide to go chill at his house and have a couple of drinks and just hang ou t.And i get to watch Beyonces new video and am like....WT...? IS she dancing? really? IS just me who thinks the videa lacks some imaginative dance moves? Ama am just slow and did not get the whole concept of her "afrocentric" video? My small sis insists she is doing some south african dance. rotflol!!I must be too happy. Bed time. I love you baby.

I miss my automatic car!!

2006-07-13T22:08:00.000-07:00

I'm finally learning how to drive a stick shift car and it is torturous. After coming from my Arabic class, my pal spends a half hour with me teaching me the intricacies of balancing the clutch and whatever. I get so frustrated cos the car keeps jumping and going off. Thank God I already have a DL or I would be worried for myself. Funny enough I have no problem reversing but I can't seem to get gear one. I am so scared of rolling back that I keep using the handbrake. I know I'll mess the car but I keep thinking I'm going to roll back and hit something. There must be an easier way to do this. I think that's why pple invented automatics!!Too much damn hassle.
But its Friday...weekend and I get to go watch redykulass cos they'll be in MD this weekend. I heard their show in Dallas really sucked and they were 2+ hours late. But I still want to go watch them.I must be a sucker for punishment.Weekend here I come.

metrosexual??

2006-07-13T06:51:00.000-07:00

After the shoe incident, my boyfriend and I were talking and I mentioned I was giving myself a pedicure. And I asked if he wanted one too. Suffice to say the feedback was less than positive. He went on and on about metrosexuals and some gay phobia and men wearing pink shirts...just a lot of hula baloo. This is just my 2 cents but what does a pedicure have to do with being gay? I love my feet and love taking care of them, they do carry all my weight around!! My idea is if you can have a pedicure, why not. I was not asking him to go all out and get some hot pink nail polish! Just take care of the cuticles, get a foot massage and call it a day. But I noticed some men tend to view this particular activity as bordering on gayness. Or even if they like to do it, they would never openly admit they do. In my opinion, if you are comfortable with who you are, you can do the things you like, say wearing a pink shirt or getting manis and pedis without caring what other people think. As human beings we seem to worry too much what people think. I know I do at times.
Now very off the tangent, last night I was in the train after class and this guy had his portable DVD player on really loud. No headphones or anything. He was a young , thuggish looking black guy, with the sagging jeans and unkempt hair and all. So all is quiet in the train cos its 9pm and all of a sudden there is a string of curse words from this guys video. As though that wasn't bad enough, a few mins later, there were sex sounds which just seemed so loud. You should have seen the heads turn!! Lol. I was embarrassed for him but he didn't seem to care at all. He just went on watching his video until I got off the train. Those sex sounds were really really loud and seemed to go on and on. If I wasn't so black, I would have blushed deep red!! But it was also somewhat funny to see the looks on peoples faces.Priceless!

High heels are just torturous

2006-07-10T20:51:00.000-07:00

Why do women do this to themselves!! I love high heels cos they make me look taller and make my feet look sexy. But majameni they are not the easiest to walk around in. Is there some trick akataas use to be able to stay on heels all day long? I just cant handle this looking cute business. I was walking in D.C after an interview and somewhere along the way my feet just gave up. So since I did not have any sandals, silly me for not carrying them, I just took of the heels and kept on walking. I ignored the little voice in the back of my head screaming about all the germs and hookworms on the ground(I have a really bad phobia of hookworms). My feet were just too relieved!! Its like that feeling you get after you have been kazwad for so long then you just kojoa and ure like aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!! So pedicure time. I have to thank my feet for enduring those heels for that long. And scrub off the germs my now black feet may have bebad home.

Kandanda imebamba

2006-07-09T07:14:00.000-07:00

Yaani no one I know is really talking sense to me leo, too much foota talk. My whole family loves football so there is some sort of induced high going on right now as they wait for the finals. Even my grandma, the AFC leopards fanatic, has just been talking about foota all day and asking when its starting. Now, I wonder if some people are true fans ama they just get caught up in the world cup craze. I think I only ever watch the finals. I like watching men in tushorts and seeing their tight legs moving all over the field. But after 10 or 15 mins, that gets old. May the best team win. I just may sit and watch the match.

Of sisters, mothers and others

2006-07-08T07:02:00.000-07:00

Somehow, at the end of the day, I find myself mentally exhausted. Watched two movies with my small sis during our movie night. We decided that we need to spend more sister time so now we have movie night every Friday. Me thinks its just an excuse for her to get to meet guys at the mall. So back to the movies. We watched lake House. Some movie with Keanu Reeves. And it was so boring I fell asleep. It just sucked. But my sis enjoyed it so much she kept making all sorts of sounds like girls do at weddings. I could not believe I was watching a movie that sounded like a mills and boon novel!! Dont get me wrong I read more than my fair share of romance novels. But this was just too much. The guy was crying, it was weird cos they were 2 years apart. It was just a bad movie.

And the very weird thing about it was the dad in the movie reminded me of my mum. You know high achieving but so cynical about life and people. I love my mother with all my heart and there is nothing I would not do for her. But at times I wonder what it would be like if she just laughed more and did not take life so seriously. I love seeing her happy and granted, life has dealt her some pretty harsh blows, but there has got to be a way to enjoy whats left of it.

Yesterday my small sis and I were talking about what we would like to do for mum just as a surprise. We have not decided yet but the topic suddenly switched to our life way back when and how she became so secretive when she hit her teens. My sis and I are 6 years apart but we are very close. So jana she tells me that when we were growing up I was always the goody-goody-two-shoes!! I was a bit surprised but when I really thought about it I realized it was true. I always did what I was told and was never a problem child. Maybe that comes from being the middle child. Trying to get attention by being the best you can be and getting the best grades. Never worked though. Then the little imp (my sis) comes up with some dodgy line about how my mum loves to control me cos I always let her!!! Now where did that come from? I agree that before I came to the states and grew up, I did let my mum determine alot of things about my life, but that has really changed since I came to US. If anyone has ever lived on their own and had to make things happen in the states for yourself, you realize that you need to grow up. And when you grow up, inevitably, you change. So alot of things about me have changed from when I was that naive 20 yr old. Now that I can speak my own mind and have become my own person, my mum hates it cos I dont alwyas do what she wants.

Back home, life was too easy, I went to private school except in high school, did my a-levels... went to a great private uni etc. Generally, got the best of everything courtesy of my mother. She always told me she had no inheritance for me except a good education. But to what extent should i let her have a say in my life? Should I be letting her control who my friends are, what I watch on tv, where I go, what I wear? I dont think so. And does the fact that i will not let her control things make me rude? I wonder. Maybe there is a way to say these things that will not rub her the wrong way.The lack of a job is causing so much friction cos I hate asking for money. I think I am now desperate enough to get a job anywhere. I always said I would not stoop to some levels like McD's but right about now I could. No offense to anyone who works there but I never thought I was that desperate. But the daily stress of having no money of my own is driving me insane.

My boyfriend gets so mad about it cos he knows what stress my mum puts me through every so often. He is always a listening ear and tries to help me think objectively. But I think old habits die hard. I keep finding myself justifying her actions and words.

Man I did not think I would ramble on and on like this. It must have been a more interesting day than I thought. Hmm....time for some arabic dictation.Does anyone here speak arabic? Any pointers?

What a day!!

2006-07-06T21:17:00.000-07:00

Today has been one of those days. I think I just woke up in a not so good mood. Am job hunting and I called up some recruiting agencies to see what they had and one of the ladies was so rude. I know she is meant to be helping me out but she gets a darn commission out of finding me a job!! I hate feeling as though I owe someone.
But that aside, went to school and got my midterm back and what do u know....i failed. So this is the story, am taking arabic. Have been wanting to do so for the longest time. So when I finally get to do it, it seems like the language is kicking my behind. Just as I feel like am getting the hang of the alphabet and the writing, she has to go and spring sentence construction on me!! Now am in a whole dilemma cos during dictation for sentence construction, I mess up big time. And it was just so wonderful that more than half the midterm was dictation and translations- yuck!! Wololo yaye!! And the worst part is that at my school, anything less than a B- is a fail. So much for my C.
Aside from all that, am bila status so now I have to find a shule asap. I know many guys will ambia me to just chill and not stress but am kinda a stickler for doing things the right way and avoiding all sorts of messes later on. But here i seem to have a dug a hole for myself. So am on the hunt for a shule...among other things.
But am enjoying life. Its wonderful to be alive and living. Its great to be in school learning something new andmeeting new people. My motto....carpe diem! Seize the day. Always

2 cent thoughts (fikra za peni mbili)

2006-07-05T22:09:00.000-07:00

So I think I finally have this whole blog thing down. I kept telling myself to get a blog and unleash all my crazy wild thoughts. Who knew it would be this easy. Somehow I figured it would take some computer genius geek type of person to set it all up. And trust me when I say I dont know a whole lot about computers. Im trying to learn but there always seems to be so much stuff to do.

So nothing deep for today. Just excitement that I finally set this up and I can have some venting space. Really good for right now with all thats going on in my life that I need to let out. I'll have to write more later. Time to snooze.Ciao.